Last month I went on a series of trips out of state for work. The Mini 3-4 day vacations were well needed. Since then I’ve realized that I don’t take any time out of my day to dedicate to self care. It’s very hard finding hours in a day that aren’t spent running after twins but it isn’t impossible. I was making excuses for why I can’t complete certain task when the reality is I’m not stern in my decisions. If I say ” I will relax and paint my nails when the girls take a nap” that’s what needs to be done. Instead I end up cleaning the house. It’s important to reflect and have a self assessment. I’ve been thinking about what has worked for me this past week. Motherhood is a full time job but you have the luxury to make your own schedule. Clock in, clock out, take lunch breaks, & only work overtime if NEED be! You have to take time out for yourself. It will only help you become a Better mother and woman. It’s not selfish to let your kids know that you’re off duty right now so call Jesus don’t call me lol. Seriously, spend quality time with your kids and spend quality time with yourself. Your family doesn’t want you to be tired and cranky because you can’t seem to get alone time. You will be no fun to be around. My twins are a little over a year old so they don’t understand exactly why I make them take a nap or play in the crib for an hour. Yes they cry at first but eventually get over it. I’m sure they would rather be stuck in the crib verses being yelled at all day by a frustrated mom because they are tearing up the house.
During the week, after I get home from work I feed the girls and play with them until about 7:30-8:00pm that’s their quality mommy time. After that they take a bath, get in bed, and I’m clocking out. They don’t fall asleep right away but that is their business not mine. I’m off duty until the morning. I do of course check on them if I hear any distress cries or if they start wrestling with each other but they don’t come back out of the crib. I need my time to prepare for the next work day, eat if I haven’t already, or just relax and take a breather.
During the weekends when I’m off from work and home with the girls I take lunch breaks. I give myself an hour of me time. It’s not always uninterrupted but for the most part it’s kid free. I put them down for a nap, let them know I’m on lunch break, and go about my business. 9 times out of 10 they don’t fall asleep but they don’t come out the crib. It’s necessary to be stern in your intentions and allow yourself to recharge. For me it’s almost impossible to hear myself think with the girls around. I’m so interested in how how they are learning and how they play with each other. That’s not a bad thing but you need balance. It’s very important to communicate that to your kids regardless of age. They may not understand your words but they feel your energy. Negative and positive. So moms make time for yourself! See how much it makes a difference.
Because everyday can be wonderful,
My greatest accomplishments are my girls. I am mindful of every decision I make for myself and their well being. I didn’t have much control during my high risk pregnancy or in the first few months of their lives as preemies in the NICU; those memories fuel me to be hands on in every aspect of their lives. Nutrition is a major part of that. I have not decided whether or not I am going to raise them fully vegan but I have started them off on a non dairy heavy fruit and veggie diet. I choose fresh or homemade as much as my time and energy allows. Lord knows my eating habits can be questionable. Trying to juggle a full time job and mothering twins while transitioning to a vegan diet is tiresome. I no longer buy meat for myself and I don’t have much processed food in the house so it’s either cook real meals or eat cereal lol. My grandmother has been a big help in meal prepping for the girls, but she doesn’t really get the idea of eating vegan. ” They need protein from meat, a vegetable, and a starch in every meal!” Those are her words every time she cooks and brings me containers full of ham, mashed potatoes, chicken all the grandma favorites. I have all this food but don’t really want the girls to eat it BUT it will make my daily routines and my wallet stress free. What would you do in a situation like that? I tend to sink to these low points where I feel like a failure if I cant stay on routine, or if I’m not feeding the girls as healthy as I can because I’m not prepared for the day. As I self reflect I realize that doesn’t make me a bad mother. I am not a hypocrite for trying to live a plant based lifestyle with cheat days here and there. It makes me Human. I just turned 26 and my new motto is “I’m not perfect nor do I strive to be” I will never be perfect with the many hats that I wear. What I WILL do is push through the exhaustion and try my best. In regards to my girls, as long as I’m not putting them in immediate danger I won’t beat myself up over certain things. My decisions with food and other aspects of their well being will be intentional. Will they always be aligned with my standard of living? No, but if I need to sacrifice in order to take 10 steps forward I will happily take a step back.
Because everyday can be wonderful.
Fear of the Double Stroller
I wouldn’t call myself a new mom because my twins are over a year old now but I still get a small dose of anxiety when it comes to traveling to new places with both of my girls. Part of it is me. I’m a planner by nature. I need to know how to get there, what the place looks like, will I be comfortable etc. Now throw in a double stroller and two 18 month olds and you have a crisis. I think most moms of multiples new and seasoned know the feeling I’m talking about.
I didn’t start experiencing this until I went through a period of being a single mom. Being the only parent in the house 24/7 was an eye opener. No more waiting for their dad to get off work to go run errands. The girls went where I went which changed the way I did everything. Simple tasks like having to get gas had to be done differently. I always use cash. I prefer not to swipe my card but with twins in the back seat I wasn’t going to leave them in the car in order to go pay inside. I had to start using my card. Getting groceries was a big challenge. How should I bring them in the store? Will both their carriers fit in a cart? I can just push the stroller but how am I going to fit all my items in the bottom of the basket. WTF, this isn’t going to work. That’s a normal conversation I would have with myself while trying to figure out how I’m going to run my errands. I am a very independent person who likes things done on their own time. The only way to figure it all out is to just do it. Trial and error. That’s what I did, it’s really not as complicated as I made it out to be. Returning home after every successful day out with the girls gave me so much confidence as a mom and as a woman in general. I can do anything and everything I want to do. Now a year and a half in the girls go just about everywhere with me. The bank, mall, grocery store, car wash, everywhere. One thing I have learned is to never underestimate the kindness of others. People help me before I even ask. When you put forth effort you are rewarded in the simplest ways.
Leah 1- the double stroller 0. No fear!
” I been gone for a minute now I’m back with the jump off.” – LIL KIM
More specifically, I’ve been gone since February 9th 2016. That is the date of my last blog post. I can’t help but to laugh as I read it now. It seems as though I had it all figured out. I was confident that I could stay on a structured path of ” I got my shit together”. Little did I know there would be a roller coaster of events in the coming months that would teach me the power of adapting to what life throws your way. Nothing went according to plan. I fell in love, got pregnant with twins, high risk twins, and had an emergency C-section. I mothered my babies from the outside an incubator for their 3 month stay in the hospital’s NICU. I fell out of love, my body told me to stop eating meat, I randomly started getting eczema, I lowkey turned vegan, and eventually got my family back together. That traitorous journey has brought me back to the path I started on. I now have a new understanding of how I can truly live holistically. All while broke, tired, and with no time to spare. So come, take your jacket off and stay awhile. I have plenty to share, join the conversation.
Because everyday could be wonderful
Hey wonderful ladies,
It’s been a good little minute since my last post. You could say I’ve been MIA. What have I been up to? Well I’ve been around, working long hours, going through writers block, and feeling uninspired. But I’m back and I’m better! I’m regaining my drive. Patience is not my strong suit. I felt as though I should have been getting a better response to my writing. I am learning that it takes time and the focus should be on owning my craft rather than recognition. Through that realization I have embarked on a journey to holistic living and self love. The two go hand in hand. I find that when you pay more attention to what goes in/on your body you develop a deeper appreciation for yourself. Know your worth! I alway say you can’t help others until you help yourself first. As I go through my holistic journey, I am focusing on 3 major areas: mind, body, and soul.
Mind-Meditation has become a staple in my morning and nightly routine. Being self aware is very important. I handle situations differently when I have mental clarity. Less stress more progress. I am becoming more discipline. I have a schedule to adhere to. Exercise, cooking, meditation, and a little tv watching all need to take place in a short time frame before or after work.
Body– I have always eaten pretty decent but now I am taking my diet very seriously. More raw clean eating and absolutly no processed foods. I eat organic as much as I can. I will slowly work towards becoming a pescetarian but for right now I’m taking baby steps lol but that’s only half the battle. when it comes to paying close attention our exterior we all know beauty products may be applied topically but they get absorbed into the skin and eventually the blood stream. It was Hard coming to this decision but if I am going to give 110% I had to go all the way. I have made the switch to only using all natural, non toxic, paraben free cosmetics. This includes makeup, nail polish, face, body, and hair products. The thought of giving way or trashing ALL my stuff was a little overwhelming but now I have a reason to shop and re up on a few things. With a little research I have a growing list of beauty brands who cater to the all natural consumer. In the end my skin will thank me.
Soul– This is where everything comes together and the Self love starts to kick in. I am becoming a better woman from the inside out. All that I do is for me and no one else. Everyday is a “Me” day. I want to look to myself for validation instead of others. I believe that the universe rewards good behavior. I am learning to let go and and let God. I pray often and show appreciation for all my blessings.
So with that being said bare with me while I get my life and navigate through this new Journey. I will not be posting too much on here until i’m ready to present new works but you can follow me on twitter and instagram as I document my new holistic lifestyle. Lets all strive to glow inside and out, because everyday could be wonderful.
Twenty three years old, age ain’t nothing but a number right? As we get older with every passing birthday comes a new stigma or sense of accountability that we must uphold. we read countless quotes saying “Your twenties are to be enjoyed, you don’t need to have your life figured out yet.” Yes that’s true to some extent but you can’t help but to worry about your future. Personally I feel great where I’m at in this stage of life. I have a clear direction of where I want to go and slowly but surely I’m making progress to get there. This past year has been an eye opener, the lessons learned are countless. As I reflect I can smile because I am learning from my mistakes. I no longer dwell in the past. I take the time to acknowledge my accomplishments. I love myself first; I can’t compare yourself to anyone else. Leah is just fine. I look forward to the blessings in my coming years. I am in my glow. What are some of the lessons learned or experiences that have shaped your 20’s?
because everyday could be wonderful,